I shall put you out of your misery very soon.  Our vacation lasted a total of four days, so after this post, NO MORE VACATION POSTS.  Until the next one.

Indianapolis is a lovely city.  It has a clean, nicely maintained river walk, well technically a canal walk, that snakes around for a few miles.  We set out early on our canal walk journey.

Has anyone else ever noticed that Magoo has attitude 24/7?

Also, has anyone ever noticed that Bud is the most laid back human being EVER?

As we were ending our couple hours of walking, SweetGuy and I spotted a little trailer advertising Segway tours.  Earlier while we were in Cincinnati, Magoo had been chirping consistently about trying a Segway tour, but we could never get in touch with the one advertised there.   We, namely her parents, weren’t exactly upset about this since we knew it would be expensive, and as evidenced by our choice of vacation destinations, we were trying to do this whole thing on the cheap.  Back to our Indy walk, SweetGuy and I just kept walking past the Segway Trailer and none of the kids noticed it.  WIN!

Fail, actually.  We couldn’t keep up the deception.  On top of that, I couldn’t stop thinking about how much I WANTED TO RIDE A SEGWAY.  SweetGuy, being sweet of course, against his prevailing financial mindset, said “Let’s do it.”  And we did.

And it was S O   M U C H   F U N.  After a quick riding tutorial we were off on our tour of Indianapolis.  Here we are below with our tour director.  He was actually a friendly guy, but look how surly he is in this picture.  I’m getting a complex wondering if in actuality he didn’t like us.  WHAT?  Not possible.  We are so much fun to be around.  Just ask us.

Not to mention that if your job is to ride Segways in the sunshine all day long, there’s no reason to make a pouty face.

I took pictures while riding on the Segway.  Snapping photos while moving on a vehicle you learned to operate in the previous 30 minutes while navigating people, objects, and bodies of water is not the easiest (or intelligent) move ever.  Thus, I just snapped away without actually looking through the viewfinder.  So I shall spare this post the 147 pictures that are cockeyed and focused on the lower third of a tree trunk.   

Magoo declared herself the official Segway Tour Model.  Bud didn’t.  He was putting his surly on rather well himself.

The tour would pause from time to time for our guide to tell us interesting facts about Indy.  I bet they were interesting, but as we were all taking the tour while riding the COOLEST PERSONAL TRANSPORTATION DEVICE EVER, we didn’t so much pay attention to him.  Rather, we were spinning in circles, or rocking back and forth, or trying to not spin in circles or rock back and forth.  We were so distracted by the toy.  Maybe that’s why our guide was surly.

It was pricey, but every one of us loved experiencing the Segway.  Better yet, I get to cross it off my life list.

We spent our final afternoon napping, and shopping.  Most of us (not named Magoo) are not into shopping very much, but we have a specific reason for shopping on vacation.  Years ago we created a tradition whereas we cash in our coin jar before leaving on vacation, split the proceeds among us, and draw names to buy presents for each other.  I don’t remember when or why we started this tradition.  I suspect it had something to do with trying to limit the kids asking for stuff while we were on vacation.  Whatever the reason, we’ve had a blast with it over the years and this time we were able to introduce The White Rose to our tradition.

Bud had her name.  And all he bought were presents for Flat Couz:

SweetGuy was perkily pleased with the hat Magoo purchased:

He’s just a little less perky in the following picture, which is of course why I included it.  His look cracks me up.  This is his “I’m hungry and why on earth are we not moving towards the restaurant, YET AGAIN.”

We headed towards dinner in an artsy section of the city, where Flat Couz was nearly mauled by a parrot in need of a little anger management counseling.

Magoo hijacks my attempt at an artsy photo.  She’s just so very helpful sometimes.

We ended up at a dark, old German restaurant oozing with personality.  The White Rose was delighted to see the Vegetarian Section on the menu, up until noting the details of the section essentialy offering a single vegetarian plate consisting of your choice of four items from the appetizer menu – oh, and pick the ones not including meat. 

And, what good is a German restaurant if it doesn’t include a little Polka in the street afterwards!  It’s a good thing SweetGuy had gotten a little something in his stomach by this point, or he would have been none too pleased by yet another pause in our attempt to reach a destination.  Have you ever taken a walk with a toddler?  They pause to twirl around, they pause to pick up a rock, they pause to examine a shiny object.  Exactly like taking a walk with these girls: 

We’re OK with that though, because after all life is about the journey, not just the destination.

And our midwestern city journey this year was better than the best.  THE END.

On to bigger and better things for Day 3:  Indianapolis.

But, first, we needed sustenance at a sunny little breakfast joint called “First Watch” in Cincy.  I HIGHLY recommend this place.  I have no pictures of the place (shocking) but it’s bright and colorful and I’m certain it would be almost impossible to be unhappy there.

Next, a little dirve, and onto the Children’s Museum in Indianapolis. And, as you’ll soon see, I’m VERY glad that school was still in session for most children.  Thus, the museum was almost deserted.  Otherwise I might have been a bit embarrassed at the antics of our own “children.”

Bud and I saw this dinosaur puzzle and scoffed.  Ha, we could probably put that thing together, in what, 10 seconds.  Here, let’s try.  Yeah, it took us a lot longer than that.  Then we called Magoo and The White Rose over to show them how misleadingly difficult it was.  And, they put it together in like 10 seconds.  Children.

Oh, the sheer joy we felt at the opportunity to work the world’s largest etch-a-sketch (notice Flat Couz on one of the knobs in the picture).  Only to have our joy turn to utter disappointment realizing it was broken.  An opportunity lost forever.

The girls recalled visiting this same museum years ago and getting the chance to play dress-up.  They were excited to re-live their memories only to find out the area they remembered was for four year old or younger.  Alas, they did find an area that allowed them to dress up and walk the runway.  It was difficult to find things that fit, and they did have to shove a little boy in a skirt out of the way to get to the good stuff.  Eventually, they got to strut their stuff:

Oh, Flat Couz, use a napkin next time, will you?

The hall of mirrors.  Magoo managed to hold it together.

So, the girls insisted on riding the carousel.  The other riders consisted of mothers, grandmothers, and children under three.  Our girls sort of stood out.  Particularly when they swung around over and over again hamming and weirding it up for the camera, only to realize too late that the camera they were directing all their oddness to belonged to some stranger.  A stranger who quickly gathered his children and backed away.

Did I mention already that I was glad there were not many young children around?  Imagine your three year old encountering these giant creatures within the dark tunnels of the forest maze.  They’d need counseling.

The kids built this arch, then proceeded to smash it.  Magoo punched one of those pieces into the back wall with a thundering WHAP.  This was about the fourth time during our visit that I quickly looked around and expected to be tossed out of the place.

This is one of the coolest places around. 

After terrorizing the Children’s Museum, we headed downtown.

We at at P.F. Chang’s and ended our day checking into our hotel.  I’d somehow scored two awesome, huge corner suites for our stay.  We didn’t pay that much for them, and I honestly think someone made a mistake giving them to us, but who were we to complain.

Well, that is until SweetGuy and I realized the kids were staying in the suite directly above us and decided to communicate with us by stomping on the floor.  No, stomping isn’t accurate, STOMPING is more accurate.  SASQUATCHING above our room in order to let us know they were ready for dinner.

Lovely.

Tomorrow:  checking another item off the lifelist.

Here’s our niece, The White Rose’s interpretation of Day 2 of our luxurious journey to Cincinnati:

Confused?  It will make sense in a moment.  For this day, we decided to be a bit more cultured… what am I saying, it would be difficult to be less cultured than us.  Anyway, in an attempt at increased culturivity on day 2, we visited the Krohn Conservatory.  Where Professor Plum killed Mrs. Peacock with the candlestick.  Oops, the cultureness didn’t last long.  Anyway, we visited a conservatory where Flat Couz conquered Mt. Fuji.  She’s impressive, isn’t she?

Oh, and there was a butterfly exhibit.  All of it was quite pretty and we really did enjoy it, save for the fact the conservatory not only housed butterflies and plants, it was also an experimental station for testing human endurance in extreme heat and extreme EXTREME humidity.  Our test group lasted about 30 minutes.

I felt the need to include this picture in order to document just how weird my fellow cultured travelers are.  If I were a cleverer sort, I’d make up a story to illustrate the three very different expressions in this picture below.  As it is, I have no idea what was going on but looking at each of those faces makes me laugh every time.

Look.  MORE CULTURE.  We went to an art museum.  It was huge and beautiful and cavernous with dozens of big, warm rooms each holding enough art to fill up about 1% of the room.  Bud and I, in our sophisticated way, soon began concocting an elaborate fantasy of attaching the art museum to a Sams Club and then closing it all off to the public and making it our home forever.  We’d move giant screen TVs, trampolines, and hot tubs into the big pretty building.  We’d race go carts through the halls, all the while taking in the beauty of the artistry surrounding us.  Would that not be the COOLEST THING EVER?

Spooooooky.  Thank you, Flat Couz, for your proper hand sanitation. 

Later on day 2, with our connections we managed to nab absolute back row tickets to “Legally Blonde – The Musical.”   The picture below is not very good but I included it to 1) prove the back row story and 2) be a rebel.  I got in trouble about 3 seconds after this photo was snapped.  Sooo, I guess you’re not supposed to take pictures in the theatre.  My bad.  (BTW, the reference to “Omigod” in the illustration at the top of the post is from the musical.  The first number is absolutely hilarious and catchy.  Warning:  once this song is in your head, it will never leave you for the rest of your life. )

But, wait, the day is not over.  We wound down the evening with desserts and a little Uno in the hotel restaurant.  Note the reference from The White Rose’s illustration at the top.  Flat Couz was a tough competitor, but we managed to take her 2 out of 3.

Let me tell you a story.  Magoo went up to the room to change her clothes.  As she came back to the elevator by herself, she noticed something off to the side of the elevator.  A little nervous, she peeked around the corner.  In the exact same moment of the ding of the arriving elevator she was absolutely startled by another person IN HER FACE!  The shock was real and extreme.  Until, she realized she was staring at herself in a mirror. 

Being the kind souls we are, we had to re-create the moment and take a picture of the reflection.  Magoo did not fully cooperate with our reenactment. 

I’m thinking she wasn’t too pleased with our theatrics.  We love her.  She definitely keeps us all entertained.

There you have it for Day 2.  Are these posts sort of like being forced to watch someone’s vacation slideshow?   Oh well, I have two more days of vacation to recount still.  If nothing else, I want to get it on here so I can remember it, and so that Flat Couz can see how much fun she had!

We recently received a fabulously funny thank you note from our most excellent niece, The White Rose.  She was thanking us for taking her along on our family vacation this year.  No joke, we should really be thanking her because she added so much fun to the trip.

She captured some of the moments SO well, they did actually make us laugh out loud.

So, using the various images on her card, I’m going to take a few posts to recount our vacation adventure.  Here goes.

On a fine Saturday in May we set forth on our trendy, luxurious, decadent getaway to:

CINCINNATI

Don’t be jealous.  It’s unbecoming.

We work hard for our money and earned the right to go to a nondescript Midwestern city, dadgummit!

We arrived at our destination and set out to Cincy’s Fountain Square, where they were having an African-American Festival.

I believe I neglected to mention that not only did The White Rose join us on this journey, but little sister, who we shall call Flat Couz, joined us as well.  Um, kind of.  She was sort of a pain though.  She ate all her sister’s ice cream.  She eats a LOT actually.  It’s amazing she stays so thin.

We walked down to the river where we observed many WWF fans waiting outside an arena for their favorite wrestlers to show up.  Let’s just say we felt a bit out of our element.  But, we tried to act all WWF like so as not to raise suspicion.  I put SweetGuy into a Doomsday Deathstar Spiral Chokehold Hammerlock and we fit right in.

Then we observed an odd steam pipe/musical device. 

Oh, look across the river.  It’s another state.  Hey there, Kentucky.

Flat Couz enjoyed the steam thing. 

Being the adventurers we are, we walked to Kentucky.  And, then needed a little refreshment and Irish fixings.

Flat Couz didn’t partake of the beer, though she barely took no for an answer.  She, did enjoy a little Shepherd’s Pie.

Flat Couz, this is what will happen to you if you partake of the beer.  You’ve been warned.

Flat Couz insisted on seeing a movie in 3-D at an IMAX in Kentucky.  Oooh, pricey.  Good movie.  But IMAX=overrated.

I did mention we were trendy, didn’t I?

And, on to our first illustration:

There’s a bridge called The Purple People Bridge spanning from Ohio to Kentucky, and back TOO.  Guess what?  It’s purple and it’s meant for people to traverse it.   However, we were quite bothered by the fact it wasn’t so much purple, as light lavender. 

Look, standing in two states at one time!  Crazy, I know, right.  That’s us.

Cincy:

Bud, always the rebel, walked on a different side of the Purple People Bridge.  

And, speaking of rebel:

That girl was uncontrollable. 

To be continued…

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